...is finally here :0
Aiming to take all of your positive expectations and meeting none of them, this game is a test of how much mediocrity you can actually take! If you make it through to the end and still have faith in humanity (or me, at least), then thanks because I didn't write all this for nothing :V
And with that, let's introduce our kind victims- err, volunteers!
PotatoKoko, DreamPuppeteer, stardust155, TheAkanemnon, Halgalaz.....
...along with a shitload of filler. Let's hope they die first or something.
de wae was requested by fellow volunteer stardust155 who wanted some memes so I obliged, slightly. Threw in sanic there for good measure. That's all I can take :V
So without further ado LET'S BEGIN
~
DAY 1
RIGHT AWAY, Akane shows how little she cares about the metagame by just deciding to be broken right off the bat. We'll have to nerf her next time.
Meanwhile, Fumu has about the same idea but took a more pay-to-win approach... hmm...
Also Laurent shows us how much of a coward he really is
More cowards taking the less exciting approach. Ratings are tanking, guys....
Good god, no one's biting. Not even Satsuki, who decided to go all OOC on us ('too cool'? Pff yeah right)
Sirica sure took that badly.
Also I'M AN IDIOT AND SAVED OVER MY LAST EDIT BUT
Fumu was the first to go. Forgot how, but it wasn't pretty.
ANYWAY, I doubt anyone'll miss her so let's move on
Andddd that's about all of you, I guess.
Also of course Susie would just buy her way through this
Love is in the air! Along with Bitch Face Dee showing the true evils of waddle dees
Also
stardust155, get away from my son!
Lol Ryo
would think that.
Dream stalks everyone with that knife of hers, slasher-film style. WATCH OUT
"Ohohohoho!"
"Fufufufu!"
Riveting.
Halgalaz shows just how much of a shill she is.
While Delta is just sick of all the drama, clearly.
AND WE HAVE OUR SECOND AND THIRD DEATHS, FOLKS
Well, what an anticlimactic pair of deaths; I mean, where's the bloodshed? The drama? Just... bowel movements and getting eaten by something I didn't even bother to name.
Welp, sorry Dream! Hate to see you out so early but guess that's how life is sometimes
MEANWHILE.... looks like DMK isn't invited to Halgalaz, Stardust and Joe's firepit (as he shouldn't) so he's taking matters into his own hands... unsuccessfully.
Pff yeah, 'paranoid' sounds like me.
BUT HEY I took out the meme so that's GREAT
FOUR DEATHS SO FAR
Not liking this sudden favouritism that Bitch Face's getting.
Also, what the hell Satsuki? Isn't it enough to have the kanji for moon in your name
NICE
AND THAT'S OUR FIFTH DEATH
Though, I wonder what the waifu wars would be like in the Kirby fandom...
Also yeah Delta, arguing over waifus would make me question my sanity too
....LAURENT YOU FUCKING IDIOT
And Akane as usual is not afraid to hang out with complete strangers
That fire was so good, it sucked up the entire budget.
Also, HOORAY THAT TAKES UP TWO OF THE FILLER GUYS
SEVEN DEATHS SO FAR
Potatoes hunt by chucking their entire body towards their prey.
Still not liking this suspicious favouritism the Dee is getting..
W-What hair..
"We look the same, I guess"
Same hair colour, same eye colour, both are knights with their primary colour being red, etc. etc.
Anything, like choking on your own piss?
EIGHT DEATHS SO FAR
Susie's a fucking cheater I knew it also it looks like I screwed up the pronouns here
Meanwhile, Broom hatter sobs at the realisation of being a throwaway Kirby enemy (I mean, I would too)
Glad this one came up :^)
I KNEW IT
I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING OFF ABOUT THAT DEE
>cuddling with sanic
I love how most of these deaths so far have been mostly self-inflicted
ALSO THE BITCH DEE'S FIRE STILL TERRORIZES EVERYONE
NINE DEATHS SO FAR
lol of all people I expected
PotatoKoko to get this one :^)
Stardust continues to stalk fictional characters
YES THANK YOU AND I AGREE
TEN DEATHS SO FAR
You should be
UGGGHHHH
I mean, I'm not happy but this is likely the most accurate outcome here >:I
TWELVE DEATHS SO FAR
Pffff
Apparently being feared among the tributes to the point that they can't sleep in his presence is enough to make Bitch Face complacent.
HAHAHA YES
THIRTEEN DEATHS SO FAR
~
DAY 4
Alrighty then! Time to start the day off right.. wonder who will-
......
:I
I'm so mad
FOURTEEN DEATHS SO FAR
What no, you're not boring to me Hatter
Meanwhile, Sectonia gets terrorized by a sentient potato, Susie shows signs of weakness..
And Akane's just sick of everything, as usual, and slept through all the exciting drama.
FIFTHTEEN DEATHS SO FAR
Bitch face couldn't handle the guilt of all the deaths and nightmares he indirectly caused.
Though I guess that wasn't too terribly exciting for Joe to stick around for
SEVENTEEN DEATHS SO FAR
D: RUUUUUDE
That was an oddly dark end for the potato lady
BUT.... that also gives me an excuse to show this:
HAHAHAHHA EAT SHIT POTATO
....EIGHTEEN DEATHS SO FAR
~
DAY 5... or the feast, I guess
(I don't actually know what this is)
Sectonia will never remember the horrors she's wrought on her people D:
Rather than """questioning""" me, why don't you look out for your season pass-exclusive goodies, Susie?
Guess Sectonia forgave her for the memoirs, then.
What a wonderful time to check your DA, though, Akane
...wonderful time.
So busy checking her messages that Akane didn't notice she was dragging the plot along with her. Joe aims to rectify that! And hopefully bring our ratings back up!
Also I'm staring to notice how Halgalaz seems to get paired with Sectonia a lot.... hmm...
NINETEEN DEATHS SO FAR
And now for the filler episode after the horrible shenanigans from yesterday.
Seems Halgalaz and Stardust have no problem getting cozy with killers :^)
Sec and Joe are exiled from the sing-along group for their crimes
....yes, a wholesome event where people get decapitated.
Susie's karaoke skills were so bad, Stardust had to take matters into her hands... while Halgalaz decides to shill again.
Meanwhile, the two exiles settle their score... though I kinda didn't expect the outcome to be anything BUT this.
TWENTY-ONE DEATHS SO FAR
WE'RE NEARING THE END HERE FOLKS
Okay so I don't want to know what that looks like
Andddd well, looks like your MLG skills aren't up to snuff, Halgalaz! You'll take home the silver medal, which means......
Congrats, Stardust! Despite doing absolutely nothing (except stalking, I guess), you've made it unscathed through the hunger games... and live to see another day!
....while I'm so freaking glad that an actual person won and not one of the fillers lol
Check out your rankings here!
--
So from here, I just ran the simulation again to show off the other events that didn't happen last round. Surprisingly though, and I kid you not, Stardust was the winner yet again in this hypothetical scenario :"D
RETRIBUTION FROM LAST ROUND DEE
(...there's a joke here somewhere)
"Um so like evangelion is totally the magnum opus of anime and everything else is shit, no exceptions"
"LOL JOJOOOOOOO"
"....fucking pleb."
(was hoping potato would join in on this one)
and a couple of others I thought were kinda funny, feel free to skip:
Potato's selling me on AOTU :^)
HE'S BLIND HOW WOULD THAT HAPPEN
That's just the plot of triple deluxe
awful
Geez that was long. Well if you made this far, you have my thanks! I hope you enjoyed this big dumb thing, as I certainly did (especially coming up with the stupid events). Though, I did plan on drawing some of these, but I probably won't have much time for that right now :V
And thanks for volunteering, you all!
-Ulti